It's Andy Carroll all over again!

Adam Lallana will miss the start of the season due to injury suffered in training today.  The thing I'm most disappointed about is having to wait to prove how bad of a buy he was, £25m for a player probably not worth 10.  He doesn't even have to hit the pitch before any support for his purchase can be dismantled.

Reason 1: 'He creates goals.'

True, but not as much as teammates Steven Davis, James Ward-Prowse, nor Gaston Ramirez.  Ward-Prowse at £25m is somewhat justifiable given his age and potential.  He'll probably be better than Lallana in three years, when he turns 22.  Lallana is 26, if you were wondering.

Reason 2: 'He's a great passer.'

No, actually he's not.  He posted an 84.7% passing rate last year and an 80.7% passer rating the year before, respectable, yes, but not when you consider his pass back percentage to be 50.3% and 52.4% respectively.  He's great at passing backward, that's about it.

Reason 3: 'He's English.'

Oh yes, of course, he is made of that special pedigree that once 'ruled the world'.  Lallana is such an 'English' last name, isn't it?  And let's get something straight, he's 'White English', because a player of any different skin color and posts the same numbers, regardless of his country of origin, is dreadfully mediocre.

Reason 4: 'He's a model.'

Where do I begin here? A model what, exactly? Just another check against the underlying racism of top-flight football and the market-driven money that runs it. Yes, he's a looker, quite possibly his best tribute, though not Justin Timberlake hawt, which I personally fancy.

Lallana is nothing special and he'll disappear under waves of mediocrity once he starts to see the pitch in a Liverpool kit, but not before he plays second fiddle to Beckham and trumps up his modeling career, of course.

This reminds of me of another situation, let me see... White, overpaid, Englishman... oh, yes, Andy Carroll! How could I forget quite possibly the worst bit of business in Liverpool history.  Dalglish has Suarez to thank for saving his arse though, had he not bought the Uruguayan, King Kenny might have been looked upon with more senile light.  Oh there I go again, mentioning that name... he's not supposed to participate in footballing activities which apparently includes everything on the internet involving a ball and feet.