Today's Banter: Sissoko to Everton?, Crouch departure looks likely, Kewell may start for Socceroos, & more

Well, this is quite alarming. Apparently David Moyes is interested in bringing Momo Sissoko to Everton. Why do I get the feeling that this is going to spark Toffee cries that Liverpool stole him away from them in the first place? Of course they just want to ignore the fact that he played under Rafa at Valencia. As for this rumor, I'm going to have to give it the Heston treatment and say, 'From my cold dead hands!' There's just no way Rafa can allow a talent of Momo's proportion to go not only to our friends in blue, but to any Premiership side.

Apparently Sissoko wants to talk over his future with Benitez, which I'm sure will just lead to the Malian announcing that he's got to work harder or some rubbish of the sort, but if he does go elsewhere, it's best he goes to Italy or Spain. I personally want him to stay, as his athleticism could eventually be an asset to allow him to be more than just a defensive midfielder, as he showed in the preseason. Plus at times he's a beast on the pitch and with the motivation that our side didn't think he was good enough for us, I'm sure he won't be very fun to face. Not to mention recklessly dangerous.

Word is Rafa is tired of Crouch's ego and is looking to sell him in the January transfer window. Do you hear that? Are you sure? Well, it's a heavenly host of angels in my head singing glorious psalms of triumph. Who needs coffee when you've got news like this? With that said, Rafa will probably come out sometime next week and say that Crouch is, in fact, not for sale, crushing my hopes. Well, apparently his valuation has been set at £10m and among those interested are Newcastle, Portsmouth, and Aston Villa. I would just like to ask those clubs not to give in to the good fight and if it'll help, I'll donate a couple of quid to their cause. By the way, unlike Momo, I would pray that other clubs would play Crouch against us. One less player to worry about.

Any hopes of Harry Kewell not seeing action for Australia tomorrow have appeared to've been dashed. Apparently Tim Cahill is unfit to play which will move Kewell into a starting role. So he has yet to start for Liverpool this season, but he may for the Socceroos? I can't say that I'm shocked. Anyways, I'll be keeping tabs on the situation on Saturday and may even watch the match. Stay fit, King Harry... please.

Now for the fun stuff. Steven Gerrard is once again the slag flavor of the month for his so-called 'xenophobic' comments regarding a foreigner quota in the Premiership. First off, the fact that this is getting any attention is just pure rubbish. All he said was that it might be something to look into, that's it, but I realize it's Stevie-G, the greatest player in the world, and everything he says is front-page news that sells copy. Fine, whatever. The best thing is when complete morons chime in on their opinion, believing they know what Gerrard said, which, let me assure you, they don't. They weren't there and didn't ask Stevie himself. Muppets.

Patrice Evra is apparently one of them. The French International has been quoted as saying that Man U have more England Internationals than Liverpool. I just love it when Senegalese players... what? What was that? He's French? But... Really though, Patrice? Let's look into that for a second. I'm looking at the latest squad selection right now and I only see one Man U player, Wes 'I'm having a laugh' Brown, and two LFC players, Crouch and Gerrard. Last time I checked, two was more than one. Oh, wait, do you mean players with caps for England? This will be fun.

Let's start with Gary Neville. Gary Neville? Paging Gary Neville? Nevermind. Then you have Wes Brown... hold on... I can't stop laughing... Jamie Carragher is ten times the player Brown would ever hope to be. Michael Carrick? B team at best. Hargreaves? Like I said yesterday, he only has knee cartilage for his club. Kieran Richardson? Oh, wait, nevermind. Rooney? Always seems injured when his country comes a-calling. That leaves Rio Ferdinand, who, unlike last year, is well-deserving of a spot to represent his country, but alas, he's suspended. So there you go, Man U's latest contribution to England in a nutshell. Stick with being a cheat Evra, you're good at that. It's in your Senegalese, uh, I mean French blood.

Finally, we have another good laugh when this bloke tries to say Jermaine Jenas is as good as Steven Gerrard. Of course, Jenas is more of a holding midfielder and Gerrard is a true box-to-box, but let's ignore that. Also, Gerrard plays in more matches for club and country and has scored more goals overall, but let's just manipulate the data to prove our point. No manager in the world would take Jenas over Gerrard and if he did, he'd be an unemployed manager. Cheers.