As I sat around with some friends this past Sunday watching some NFL and patiently awaiting the US-Brazil friendly in Chicago, I got to thinking how Javier Mascherano would make a bad ass American football player, particularly at running back. He seems to have the perfect low-gravity, wide, muscular build with powerful tree trunk like legs to propel him forward while carrying a couple of players with him. I could definitely see him slamming himself kamikaze-style through a wall of over-sized ogres and coming out the other side a la Emmitt Smith to scramble for a few more yards. It's too bad he was born in Argentina.Then I got to thinking, if Liverpool FC was an American football club, at what positions would our players be best suited. On offense, the most obvious is Steven Gerrard at quarterback. He just has that high-shouldered approach that would allow him to keep a good eye on the entire field and allow him a quick over-the-shoulder release. Not to mention his leadership abilities and his uncanny knack to pull off something special when needed most. He certainly has all the physical attributes, he's quick and fast, though it probably wouldn't hurt for him to put on a few pounds, and at six-foot-one he's tall enough. The only thing he'd need to learn how to do is throw a football, but that probably wouldn't be too hard for someone of his athletic ability.
The biggest problem would be linemen. Of the players who could probably make it at that position due to their strength and toughness, certainly Sami Hyypia and Alvaro Arbeloa could, but both would still need to put on at least 100 pounds to even begin not to get pushed around by the opposition. John Arne Riise could probably make it as a tight end, but I'd rather see him and Jermaine Pennant sharing the backfield with Mascherano. I can just imagine Riise getting the ball, gathering up a head of steam and then barreling through some linebackers who later would have no idea what hit them. As for 'Crazy Legs' Pennant, I can definitely see him being like Warrick Dunn, scampering all over the field, defying tackles with juke moves and a relentless refusal to be taken down. He'd probably be one of our return specialists as well.
As for the receiving core, we'd be loaded with Momo Sissoko, Ryan Babel, Yossi Benayoun and of course, Peter Crouch, though I think Crouchy would probably get broken in half on the first decent hit. Pepe Reina would be our starting tight end after he put on about eighty pounds. Yossi and Crouch would be the possession receivers, while Momo and Babel would be flankers. I could also see Dirk Kuyt and Andriy Voronin as split ends or playing some sort of possession receiver roles due to their lack of speed. That leaves Torres, who'd probably be in the backfield, though I'm not sure how he'd fit in with the other three back there.
As for the rest of the team, Harry Kewell seems to have the mentality of the back-up quarterback. Though he may lack in size, he's definitely got the athletic ability and tends to come up with special plays from time to time. Of course he'd have to stay healthy first. For some reason, I see Jamie Carragher as a kicker. I don't mean that as an insult by any means, as I can see him kicking the ball off then going full speed at the opposition trying to take out as many blockers as possible on his way to dragging down the returner. Then we have Danny Agger, with whom I have no idea what to do with. With his height, he could probably play as receiver or tight end, but I just sort of see him sitting on the bench. I don't why, maybe he's just too much of a footballer to me.
If I ever get this bored again, I'll do the defense or somebody can shoot me. Whatever you deem appropriate. Cheers.
