Steven Gerrard is the new crack

Watch this video all the way through and you'll see what I mean...

Spurs 2, Liverpool 1: Absolutely pathetic

Not really that bad, but... well, you know... First, Babel is not a winger. When the fuck is Benitez going to wake up and realize this? Benayoun should have started, this isn't rocket science. Being an avid defender of Benitez is really making me look bad and having Ryan 'I have no clue how to the pass the ball despite having four defenders on me' Babel play wing is not helping.

Torres needs to stop being a little bitch, This is the Premiership, stop falling down when one of your hairs get out of place. Jesus Christ, yes, your a great player, but when the hell are you going to stop using your ability to deceive and start utilizing your strength to man-handle defenders? This is English football for fuck's sake.

I have beef with Carra as well, but I know when I'm walking on thin ice. What the fuck, dude? I know you love all things Liverpool, but when the fuck are going to learn to trust Skrtel? The guy hardly fucks up as it is, and we don't need you breaking his jaw on really bad decisions to go for the ball.

A bad start nonetheless even though Reina once again proved he's one of the best keepers in the world. Glen Johnson was outstanding as well, not to mention Lucas showing he's grown some balls. We need six points in the next two no matter what and fuck that FSC fucker who said that was our 'whole squad'. Really you dipshit England and Newcastle reject? Where was Riera, Agger, or Aquilani? Not to mention Martin Kelly is the next Steven Gerrard, Fuck off, you douche.

Steven Gerrard's goal versus Tranmere today

Not the greatest video ever made, but not too bad for a camera phone.

Essien trumps Gerrard

Is there really much else to say? I guess we could have played back and come to think of it, probably should have after the early goal, but, uh, we didn't. Not having Mascherano didn't help either. We're done in the Champions League. Let's get over it.

Some may say Benitez was out-coached by Hiddink and frankly I have to agree, especially on set pieces. Our attack was futile at best. Not even on our own set pieces could we penetrate the Blues' defense.

The only thing in our favor next Tuesday is that we have Masche and they won't have Terry, but with Evanovich all of sudden becoming a great goal-scorer, who knows.

Nemanja Vidić vs. Martin Škrteľ

Apparently Nemanja Vidić is the current odds on favorite to win PFA Player of the Year this season, and well, that sort of baffles me. I'm not saying Vidić is undeserving of recognition as one of the best center backs in the world, but our very own Martin Škrteľ has been just as, if not more impressive this season. The only thing going against the Slovakian back is that he's played in less matches, but the statistical comparison is, well, not much of one.

First we have what center backs are supposed to do best, stop the opposition. This is best represented by tackle success rate, tackles per match, and interceptions per contest. Škrteľ surprisingly takes all three of these categories. He easily beats his Man U counterpart in tackles per match with 1.82 tpm compared to 1.19, he dominates on tackle success rate with a resounding 88.2% to Vidić's 74.4%, and finally, he edges out the Serb, 2.18 to 1.96 in interceptions per. Pretty impressive if you ask me.

Another important trait is the ability to not only pass the ball effectively, but also to get to where you want it to go, in other words, pass success percentage. Once again, Škrteľ is superior, though only by a hair, 87.5% to 86.6%. Our boy also leads on assists with one to none and has created more goal attempts, 4 to 3, in 10 less matches played might I add.

The only category where Vidić dominates is goals scored and if we were talking about strikers that might make a huge difference, but we're not, and in almost every other single category, Škrteľ reigns supreme. Not to mention Liverpool's sweep of Man U exposed the weaknesses of Nemanja.

Gary Neville is a 'role model' for Liverpool youth

Ha. Chris Grayling is a feckin' idiot. Why would a politician ever make such a ridiculous statement that one of the players most reviled by Liverpool FC fans is a role model for it's city's youth? Oh, he's a Man U fan. Shocking. Neville is a no class loser, who wouldn't even make our reserves squad at this point.

At first I thought he was just having a go, but then I realized he was just like most Man U fans, clueless. He has a record of trying to lobby for industrial contracts for Liverpool companies, which leads me to believe that the weather is fair when it comes to the topic of football in the Grayling home.

You know who I think is a great role model for Liverpool youth, not Wayne Rooney, that's for sure.

Riera appears to have refound his form

There have been many factors in our current impressive vein of form, our relative return to health that allows us to play our best eleven being the most important and the overall career peak performances of Xabi Alonso, Steven Gerrard, and Fabio Aurelio, among others, also being crucial. Yesterday appeared to mark the continued resurgence of Albert Riera, whose controlled-chaos dribbling, spot-on passing, and nasty volley goal, produced minced-meat of the Villa defense, who were lucky the scoreline did not end worse.

In his first few matches for our club, Riera looked golden. His league debut against Man United in September was one of legends, as he made their defense look not only less than superhuman, but frankly porous, as we beat our bitter rivals, 2-1. It was our first league win against the Mancs since 2004 and our first at Anfield in nearly seven years. His gangly-legged, two-steps-forward-one-step back style then continued to leave Premier League defenders dazed and confused as his cleats chewed up the left sides of pitches across England. It was appearing that his £8m price tag was quite the bargain.

Suddenly though, he disappeared. After scoring his first league goal against Wigan, the energy that seemed to spark his unpredictable and unstoppable flair seemed to dissipate. Though flashes of brilliance would occasionally sneak through, for the most part Riera was ineffective, if not invisible. It appeared the physicality of the English game had worn him thin, sapping his mental strength and severely depleting his creative juices. To put it bluntly, His game went from grand to bland.

In December, a seasonal renaissance occurred with Riera scoring three goals in five matches, but still he seemed to lack the dynamic fortitude that he displayed earlier in the season. His first Champions League goal against PSV was followed up by a disappearing act against Hull and an uninspired effort versus Arsenal, only to end the year with a goal against Bolton, in an otherwise forgettable showing, and begin 2009 with a stunner against Preston North End in the FA Cup.

It ended up being more a mirage than glint of hope as the Spaniard once again fell into a lull. His lackluster play reflected our results as we went 1-1-5 over the next seven matches he played, including crashing out of the FA Cup in a loss to Everton. Then came the CL tie at the Santiago Bernabéu.

Being back in Spain seemed to rejuvenate Riera. Maybe a renewed hatred of Real Madrid or the familiarity of surroundings reignited the left winger as his effort was encouraging and reminiscent of early season form. Following that, he was left out of the match against Middlesborough, which we lost, 0-2. His omission was a bit baffling, but I'm not sure if he would have made much difference.

Then came a tremendous performance against Sunderland, where his spot-on passing, though wasted for the most part, certainly kept up the pressure on the Black Cats defense. He appeared to regain the confidence of his teammates as well, as their shyness to go to the left flank became less apparent. Real Madrid came to Anfield that following Tuesday and shockingly, Riera did not even make the bench. His omission leads me to speculate that Rafa does not believe Riera has the physical ability nor mental sharpness this late in the season to play more than one match a week. It's also convenient that we have plenty of left-side coverage in Ryan Babel, Fabio Aurelio, and Andrea Dossena, if needs be.

In our second meeting with United, Riera was solid, but not as scintillating as he was in the first match. Dossena once again played well and I think that may have caught the Spaniard's attention since he came out on fire against Villa, putting on one of his best performances of his short Liverpool career. It wasn't just his world class finish, but his pass completion percentage was a ridiculous 94% on a season high 52 balls played. Not to mention his making Nigel Reo-Coker not an option at right back for Villa anymore.

I'm not sure you could go as far as to say that Riera is the main factor in our results, but he's certainly an important one. When he's playing well, he takes out the right side attacking options of our opponents and those who lack all-round right sided wingers, like say, Manchester United, are completely exposed. I have to concur if Rafa is resting the Spaniard for one match a week, as he has shown the wear and tear has had effect, which leaves Benitez with some strategy to ponder with our four upcoming ties.

Chelsea was the worse possible draw

I would have much preferred Barça or Man U to the Blues. Sure we've beaten them twice in the league this season, but that was without their best player, Michael Essien. Now that he's back, we cannot enter thinking these matches will be anything like the previous two. Being one of the best players in the world, he is a large enough factor to push them past us. It will take a monumental effort to overcome the Blues and I hope our boys approach them with tremendous respect, because without it, we won't advance.

12 points from Man U & Chelsea

It's a bit baffling to think we've taken the double from the two top squads in the league, but it may be a bit more confounding to realize that we've managed only six pts in six matches against four of the eight bottom sides (Tottenham, Hull, Stoke, and Middlesborough). In the end, those results are probably going to be what keeps us from the title.

Though not impossible, it is very much improbable, and as Benitez states, we must win our final nine contests to have any sort of chance. Taking a gander at our remaining schedule, closing out the campaign with twenty-seven points is a doable feat. The toughest matches left being versus Arsenal and Villa, but both of those are at Anfield. Away to West Ham and a visit from those pesky Spurs aren't going to be easy either, but then again, no match is nor should be approached as so, something United's defenders should have probably taken into account before today's contest.

The most impressive feat about today's match? That unless soccerbase.com is incorrect or my eyes have failed me*, Man U has never allowed 4 goals in a Premiership match at Old Trafford. NEVER. In fact, you have to go back to December 30, 1978, when the Mancs lost to West Brom, 5-3, in the old first division, to find a result of four or more allowed in the league. 30 years ago. Quite impressive.

Well, six days until we find out our next Champions League opponent and eight until we face Villa at home. Until then, cheers.

*EDIT - I stand corrected (or maybe I should look into wearing glasses). They allowed 4 goals against QPR at Old Trafford on January 1st, 1992. Still though, that was a first division match, so they truly never have allowed 4 at home in the Prem.

Top of the table... again... for now...

What a match, though for all intents and purposes, the theatrics I could do without. Our boys were clearly the better side from start to finish and for us to have to come back from a 1-0 deficit to begin with, was the biggest joke of all. If Nugent was onside, then so was Kuyt (on his called-back goal, of course)... EASILY. Nothing surprises me from an Evertonian though, as Nugent showed his true scum colors by trying every move in the book to cheat Liverpool of three points. Sorry, son, you lost.

Like it or not, Rafa's tactics worked. Ngog was effective as his speed kept the Pompey back four at bay, scared to leave the Frenchman unmarked for more than a few seconds. Benayoun continued his brilliant form, causing chaos throughout the pitch. The only real disappointment was Babel, who missed a mind-blowing sitter (who the hell uses their right foot on a right to left cross?) and still failed to find the pass when covered by multiple defenders. Somebody is open, somewhere, even if you have to pass it back, it's better than losing possession. In his defense though, he scared the living crap out of the defenders with his threatening pace.

The most effective aspect of Rafa's gameplan? Resting Kuyt, Xabi, and Torres until later in the match. He used his younger and less worn players to wear down the opposition, which made them easy pickings when the more experienced came on.

One thing I found amusing, for two reasons actually, is how hard Crouch played. First, if he had played that hard for us, he'd probably still have a place on our squad and second, he was still pretty much ineffective.

My player of the match goes to Yossi Benayoun. He was effectively everywhere throughout and set-up the match winning goal. As for the rest of the squad, no one played particularly horrible, but I've seen better days from Babel and Mascherano. I would also like to add that Aurelio played particularly well for basically playing out-of-position at central midfield for a majority of the match.

I know I said in my pre-match blog that a goal against us would be embarrassing, but while watching the match I realized that a lot of our 'defensive-minded' players, saw this as more of an opportunity to show their attacking abilities and in that way, it sort of backfired. I wouldn't go as far as to call it 'delusions of grandeur' (except for in maybe Mascherano's case) though. Agger and Aurelio were far from incompetent in what they offered on attack.

Well, two weeks and a day until Man City. Let's hope for a healthy return for all our internationals. Cheers.

The Tinkerman tinkers versus Portsmouth

No Torres, Xabi, Riera, nor Kuyt to start. Strangeways here we come... again. Torres being worn and Xabi being knocked are understandable... somewhat, but the absences of Kuyt and Riera are a bit baffling. Cahill and Arteta as well as a plethora of others played today for Everton?

Anyways, with that said, I like when Benitez gambles, as long as it works, but today's line-up is severely defensive-minded. Five defenders plus Mascherano? Agger has the ability to play midfield as he is good enough on the ball and an adequate passer with the talent to make the occasional great play. Not sure if he's to start there along side Masche though. Dossena and Aurelio on the left should be interesting as both players like going forward. No matter what though, a Pompey goal against will be nothing short of embarrassing.

On the attack side, it's going to be up to Benayoun to lead. Yossi has been playing exceptionable lately though, hopefully that will rub off on Babel and Ngog. I also wouldn't be surprised to see Mascherano or even Carragher uncharacteristically forward. Here's to being back on top by the end of ninety.