If Liverpool was an NFL side: The Offense

As I sat around with some friends this past Sunday watching some NFL and patiently awaiting the US-Brazil friendly in Chicago, I got to thinking how Javier Mascherano would make a bad ass American football player, particularly at running back. He seems to have the perfect low-gravity, wide, muscular build with powerful tree trunk like legs to propel him forward while carrying a couple of players with him. I could definitely see him slamming himself kamikaze-style through a wall of over-sized ogres and coming out the other side a la Emmitt Smith to scramble for a few more yards. It's too bad he was born in Argentina.

Then I got to thinking, if Liverpool FC was an American football club, at what positions would our players be best suited. On offense, the most obvious is Steven Gerrard at quarterback. He just has that high-shouldered approach that would allow him to keep a good eye on the entire field and allow him a quick over-the-shoulder release. Not to mention his leadership abilities and his uncanny knack to pull off something special when needed most. He certainly has all the physical attributes, he's quick and fast, though it probably wouldn't hurt for him to put on a few pounds, and at six-foot-one he's tall enough. The only thing he'd need to learn how to do is throw a football, but that probably wouldn't be too hard for someone of his athletic ability.

The biggest problem would be linemen. Of the players who could probably make it at that position due to their strength and toughness, certainly Sami Hyypia and Alvaro Arbeloa could, but both would still need to put on at least 100 pounds to even begin not to get pushed around by the opposition. John Arne Riise could probably make it as a tight end, but I'd rather see him and Jermaine Pennant sharing the backfield with Mascherano. I can just imagine Riise getting the ball, gathering up a head of steam and then barreling through some linebackers who later would have no idea what hit them. As for 'Crazy Legs' Pennant, I can definitely see him being like Warrick Dunn, scampering all over the field, defying tackles with juke moves and a relentless refusal to be taken down. He'd probably be one of our return specialists as well.

As for the receiving core, we'd be loaded with Momo Sissoko, Ryan Babel, Yossi Benayoun and of course, Peter Crouch, though I think Crouchy would probably get broken in half on the first decent hit. Pepe Reina would be our starting tight end after he put on about eighty pounds. Yossi and Crouch would be the possession receivers, while Momo and Babel would be flankers. I could also see Dirk Kuyt and Andriy Voronin as split ends or playing some sort of possession receiver roles due to their lack of speed. That leaves Torres, who'd probably be in the backfield, though I'm not sure how he'd fit in with the other three back there.

As for the rest of the team, Harry Kewell seems to have the mentality of the back-up quarterback. Though he may lack in size, he's definitely got the athletic ability and tends to come up with special plays from time to time. Of course he'd have to stay healthy first. For some reason, I see Jamie Carragher as a kicker. I don't mean that as an insult by any means, as I can see him kicking the ball off then going full speed at the opposition trying to take out as many blockers as possible on his way to dragging down the returner. Then we have Danny Agger, with whom I have no idea what to do with. With his height, he could probably play as receiver or tight end, but I just sort of see him sitting on the bench. I don't why, maybe he's just too much of a footballer to me.

If I ever get this bored again, I'll do the defense or somebody can shoot me. Whatever you deem appropriate. Cheers.

Today's Banter: Carra officially set to return, Traore talking junk, Abigail gets the axe, & more

- Well, at least we'll have Carra. With the Agger injury and Hyypia coming off two full matches in five days, it was unclear what we were going to do for centre backs come Saturday, but it looks like Jamie Carragher will definitely start. I assume that Arbeloa will be there along with him. As for the full backs, it would be great if Aurelio was declared fit and ready, but I doubt it, and I haven't heard anything in regards to Finnan's condition. I'll assume it'll be Riise on the left though and who knows, maybe Stephen Darby on the right? That would be interesting.

- Djimi Traore, quite possibly one of the worst players ever to win a Champions League medal, is talking a little smack about his former club with whom he won that medal, Liverpool. The Portsmouth back thinks his side will win on Saturday because they won't give the Reds much respect and the long travel south will make them tired. What? Are they walking? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, but then again, this is Traore we're talking about. It's only about 250 miles by car and our boys will most likely be flying. Anyhow, the linked article which is from a Portsmouth fan site mentions that Portsmouth has won three of the last five games between the two clubs, but then mentions that one of the wins was against a weak Liverpool side as we were on the march in the Champions League last year and the other was on penalty kicks this past summer in a meaningless preseason tournament final. So against full LFC sides, they've won one of the last three. Luckily for them though, they probably won't meet a first team squad on Saturday.

- Peter Crouch's girlfriend, the sort of attractive Abigail Clancy (pictured above), has gotten the axe from Hell's Kitchen, the reality cooking show she's been a part of recently. She apparently will now use her new-found cooking skills to fatten up her boy.

- Rafa, who was named 33rd on the top 50 managers of all-time by the Times Online, has once again expressed the unfairness of our schedule. For the second consecutive time we have to play a lunch fixture following an international break. I can sort of understand his complaining with not having a lot of preparation time on the day of the game and some players being out of sorts with the earlier than usual start, but come on, it's only a couple of hours. I do think they should play a large majority of the matches following an international break on Sunday though as it would allow players an extra day rest and probably increase the quality of their play and the matches in general. Of course, that would just mean less time to prepare for the Champions League match in the middle of the upcoming week. By the way, Paisley and Shankly were 6th and 5th respectively on that list though both should have been ahead of Sir Alex Ferguson for obvious reasons.

- It's been revealed that Dirk Kuyt's schoolboy German lessons have paid off in helping Andriy Voronin adjust to Liverpool life. Though a bit rusty and sometimes unsure of what he was saying, Kuyt has been instrumental in helping the Ukrainian communicate with his coach and teammates. Kuyt also praised Voronin for his work rate and as one of the players he used to admire in his Bundesliga watching days. Being involved in the international scene so long, I'm sort of surprised Voronin doesn't speak English or even Dutch.

- Finally, just because you play for LFC and are named Jamie Carragher doesn't mean you get special treatment. Even if that means getting bumped to the front of a book signing line for a book in which you are featured. As was the case for Here We Go Gathering Cups In May, a book about LFC's seven European trophy runs. Carra had to wait in a line that wrapped around the bookstore just like everyone else.

Today's Banter: Stevie to play injured for England, Rafa speaks out against Platini, Super Reserves to take pitch tonight, & more

(First of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Brian and I used to do the Liverpool blog over at the Offside. I have taken over this blog from my brother and will be posting here frequently, especially in-depth coverage on game days. Feel free to leave any comments, particularly negative ones, I love haters. Cheers.)

- It appears that Steve McClown will get what he wants when a not fully fit Gerrard is expected to take the pitch for England next Saturday in their Euro-qualifying match with Israel at New Wembley. If you can't tell, I'm extremely over-joyed about this. I understand he's England's best player and they have little to no chance of qualifying without him, but if he re-aggravates the hairline fracture in his toe, he won't be available for the Wednesday match versus Russia and possibly even the mid-October ties with Estonia and Russia, again. The only thing I can take comfort with is the fact that we haven't needed our world class midfielder since the first match of the Premiership season at Villa. I'm also very thankful that Carra has quit the Three Lions and we should have him back when the break ends in two weeks.

- Rafa has added his voice to the dissent against UEFA head Michel Platini's proposal to have domestic cup winners be the final choice representative in the following year's Champions League tournament. Benitez basically shares the same view as most that it could potentially weaken the field of the world's greatest club tournament. Not only that, but it could potentially hurt not only the integrity of the domestic cup but also the league/country where it's participants play. Just imagine a manager of a mid-level Premiership club who knows that his team has a better chance of winning the domestic cup than finishing in the top three in the league, especially since they know the sides with the best shot of taking the CL league spots are akin to playing lesser squads in domestic cups. Champions League money is a great incentive if a side knows it can beat relegation with a half-assed EPL effort and still make it to the big European stage.

- We're fielding a pretty damn good Reserves side today in our opening fixture for The Barclays Premier Reserve League (North) against Middlesborough's reserve team. Among them will be first-teamer and Pepe back-up, the Frenchman Charles Itandje, recent official signing CB Spaniard Mikel San Jose, Former Stockport County wonder kid Ryan Crowther, and South Americans and part-time 1st teamers Lucas Leiva and Sebastian Leto. The normal crew will also be there including Emiliano Insua and Craig Lindfield. Our boys haven't played since their mid-August Scandinavian tour were they trounced Norwegian side, Kvik Halden, 5-1, and Swedish squad, Karlstad, 4-0 thanks to a Craig Lindfield hat trick. I have little doubt that our Reserves could easily maintain a mid-level spot in the Championship.

- Finally, there's been a lot of love coming from inside and outside of the club in recognition of some recent individual performances on the pitch. Rafa has recently praised Alvaro Arbeloa for not only playing every minute of every match so far this season, not only for playing out of his natural position most of the time, but also for just being awesome and showing an unbelievable amount of improvement over the last eight months since joining the squad. I have to concur, Arbeloa has went from an undisciplined back who appeared to care more about getting goals than stopping attacks to arguably our best defender, which when you have players named Carragher, Hyypia, Agger, Finnan, and Mascherano at your club, that's saying a lot. Also, Real Madrid captain Raul has noticed a 'different' Torres, hinting that he believes his Spain teammate might be enjoying life a little better at Anfield than he ever did at Atletico. I think it might be the fact that there's a lot less pressure for him to be 'the man' at Liverpool with the likes of local boys Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher as well as our world class midfielder Javier Mascherano. Cheers.

Somebody please give Gareth Barry a tissue

Apparently Gareth Barry thinks the free kick awarded to Steven Gerrard by referee Mike Riley towards the end of the match on Saturday was a rubbish call. Really, Gareth? But I'm sure you think the handball called on Carra not ten minutes earlier was justified. Bullocks.

Aston Villa was not going to score on that play and it was definitely not intentional. I'm sure Riley realized this and tried to make-up for that call by awarding the free kick. By the way, Petrov was beat and held Gerrard back, if Carra's was a callable handball, than that's easily a free kick.

Liverpool vs Portsmouth: What will Rafa do?

Well, we got some good news today with the international clearances of Fernando Torres, Ryan Babel, and Lucas Leiva, as well as the near return to fitness for Stevie-G, because after Tuesday's match, it looks as if we'll need all the bodies we can harbor. I'm really excited about getting a look at Lucas and fully expect him to start in the middle with Gerrard.

The heat and the humidity definitely seemed to get our boys by the end of the last match. Danny Agger and John Arne Riise looked especially exhausted, which is not good, considering how thin we are on the back line. Carra and Arbeloa played the entire match as well and Hyypia saw some time at central midfield of all places.

I can see Rafa giving a start to Robbie Threlfall at left back as well as Gabriel Paletta in the middle. I also think, since Hyypia came in late and Finnan left early, they will probably allow them to start at centre back and right back respectively.

On the flanks, I think Babel might start on the left, though I wouldn't be surprised to see Kewell there since he was taken out early on Tuesday and with him just leaving the Asian Cup, he's probably pretty well adapted to the conditions. On the right, we'll probably see Pennant since he only played twenty-five minutes or so in the South China FC match.

Up front is not as simple as it would seem. One would think Torres would get the nod since he's well rested, but I think Rafa might start with a relatively fresh Kuyt and pair him with either Babel or even Crouch. If he starts Voronin there, I'll be shocked since the Ukrainian played the whole match Tuesday, but it is Rafa and he does know his player better than I. Voronin actually didn't look too worn out by the end of the match, but you never know.

At keep, I can definitely see Reina starting, but I think Carson will get the nod, if just to keep him happy.

So here's how I see it:
Carson
Threlfall
Hyypia
Paletta
Finnan
Kewell
Lucas
Gerrard
Pennant
Kuyt
Babel

As for the bench, who knows? If I knew the actual fitness of the players I could guess more accurately, but I definitely expect the younger players like Agger, Crouch, and Riise to be available, despite how the looked by the end on Tuesday.

I hope we win this match, but I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't. Portsmouth and Harry Redknapp, without a doubt, have more desire than we do to win this, despite Rafa's words. I just hope it's entertaining, no one gets injured, and we get a solid look at Lucas. Cheers.