It's fitting that the Korean 'Gerrard' helps sink Man U

What a glorious way to kick off the Prem.  With goals from Ki Sung-yeung and Gylfi Sigurdsson, Swansea took all three points at Old Trafford, winning 2-1.  The South Korean is affectionately known as 'Gerrard' and 'Kirrard' by the Asian press, a well-deserved moniker after his performance today.  The best part about his goal though is how Wilifred Bony manhandled Phil Jones to make space for Sung-yeung's shot.  He tosses the dimwitted defender aside like a limp hot god.  It's a thing of beauty.

I wonder what Van Gaal must be thinking now?  Mangoloid U dominated possession, completed 87% of their passes, had three times as many shots, and won two-thirds of aerial battles.  There's not much more they could have done.  I actually feel a little sorry for the Dutchman, if he doesn't get at least one great player in, they are going to be in trouble.  Did Herrera even play today?  Never mind, I see he committed a couple of fouls.

There's a smile on David Moyes' mug right about now that not even a sledgehammer could crush.  Van Gaal took one match to break-in the record book, first time ever in the Prem that United have lost their opening match and the first ever league win for Swansea at Old Trafford.  There are 37 more to go though, and you'd have to lower your intelligence level to a Manc not realize United will improve.

Let Man United waste their dosh on Cavani

Is Edinson Cavani the most overrated player in the world? If not, he's up there.  He can't pass, he can't shoot, he can't dribble, and he does not create goals.  What is the big deal?

His stats from last season do nothing to justify his £50m+ estimation:

npgp90	gcp90	ccp90	ap90	ccv
0.55	0.71	0.9	0.08	8.7
pass%	bp%	sacc%	shot%	TTI90
85.5	62.3	36.5	16.7	9.5
gsp90	gap90	gop90	tgop	gopd90
2.12	0.63	1.49	1.61	-0.12

His pass success rate of 85.5% is excellent, at being misleading.  I'm not sure If I have ever seen a back pass percentage above 60, even Iago Aspas had 58.1% last season.  He does have a low turnover rate, but he wasn't exactly the primary ball carrier for PSG, they do have a few other well-known footballers on their squad.  In fact, he only averaged 28 pass attempts and 3.8 shots per 90 minutes last season, for perspective, Ibrahimovic averaged 50 and 5.2 respectively.

Further proof that his passing rate from last season was an anomaly:

year	age	club	comp	app(sub)	pcom	patt	pass%
2012-13	26	Napoli	Serie A	33(1)	544	598	77.9
2011-12	25	Napoli	Serie A	32(3)	551	758	72.7
2010-11	24	Napoli	Serie A	32(3)	495	678	73
2009-10	23	Palermo	Serie A	31(3)	523	682	76.7
				totals	2113	2716	77.8

His previous four year average is nearly 8 points lower.  All those expensive teammates make him look like a Pirlo, when he's really just a Kevin Nolan.  Oddly enough, his 8.7 ccv is his lowest in five years, while his career high was 18.8, his first season in Napoli.  His five year average though is only 11.

Cavani is far from worth £50m, he's probably not even worth £15m. I hope Van Gaal buys him though, it will just add to the horrible deals they made this summer.

How much will United pay for Dirk Kuyt?

After dishing out ridiculous sums for turnover prone 25-year-old, Ander Herrera, and the nemesis of Victor Moses, Luke Shaw, they are now linked to splash the cash for soon-to-be 34-year-old former 'Liverpool Legend', Dirk Kuyt. I use 'legend' in the loosest sense there, but Kuyt is much more deserving than say, Roy Hodgson.

Dirk Kuyt's evolution as a footballer is interesting to say the least.  At FC Utrecht and especially Feyenoord in the Eredivisie, he was a poacher, a goal-scoring machine.  Unfortunately, he didn't have the pace to translate his finishing skills in the Prem and had to change his approach if he wanted to survive.  So he became a more complete player, a blue collar one mind you, but good enough to earn a starting place as a supporting striker.  His determination to stay and fight for a place at Liverpool after a disappointing first season instead of returning to the Eridivise where he could have easily reverted back to his prolific poaching ways was a testament to his character.

In his first season at Liverpool, he had one assist in 34 appearances, in his second he had 8 in 32.  In his final three seasons he had a chance created per 90 of 1.79, but it was not just his ability to make important passes that improved, he became a defensive forward, if one ever existed.  From 2009-2012, he averaged 1.91 tackles per 90 and 1.56 int per 90, for perspective, during that same period, Rooney contributed 0.63 tp90 and 0.42 intp90, a massive difference.

His latest rebirth as a left wing back for the Netherlands in the World Cup apparently has spurned Van Gaal into thinking about taking him to United when the Dutch coach starts his term there.  If I can say so sans punishment, playing the heavy-footed Kuyt at that position actually is a genius move, it takes advantage of his strengths and less exposes his weaknesses.  His contributions have been solid on both ends of the pitch and the coverage he provides for Daley Blind is pricelesss, but will it translate in the Prem?

The potential big winner here is Fenerbache.  With United willing to pay double and triple a player's valuation, the Turkish club could possibly get £10m for a player they bought for £880,000.