This is the machine, it does nothing, move along now!

Public relations is a fascinating game.  It is amazing, utterly baffling, the amount of money that has gone into something seemingly so meaningless, but that's it's intention.  Desperate moves washed in tubs of cash to remove the smell of desperation.  Of course a practice birthed in the genocidal precedence of 'Manifest Destiny', evolved by the incantations of a former painter turned dictator-mongol, and blatantly unveiled by the discounted sermons of a linguistic preacher with a disenfranchised choir is a ghost game shrouded by itself.  Seriously, there's a man behind that curtain whether you want to look or not and he's laughing all the way to the proverbial bank.

The newest rubbish campaign to deter the truth is 'blame Gerrard'.  He's 'too old', 'past it', 'worn out', 'not good anymore', or 'can't play that position'.  They haven't lost their minds, they are just securing their future.  'They' are those who make their living by playing you like a stringless fiddle.  'They' are those that say 'stats don't matter' which is comical considering 'they' use stats for virtually every thing they do.  Their actions are pre-calculated to produce the optimal result.  Their tactics have been researched and tested a million times for decades on end.

Just stop it.  I've yet to read a single article abhorring the violent display of tackling by West Ham.  Not a single line from the muppet brigade has been dedicated to Kouyate's potentially career-ending, unjustifiable late thrust at Moreno.  Do we need to mention 'studs up'?  I guess they'll have to re-write the unwritten rule book on that one.

It was 'grand' football.  A 'fantastic' display.  Sam Allardyce 'outwitted' Brendan Rodgers.  Yeah, don't get me started on that, the only thing Freddie Flintstone head out-did his counterpart on was thuggery and being a company man.  It would be an utter revelation had the focus of matches be on what actually occurs on the pitch instead of the concoctions of think tank bunnies.

Liverpool lost because they refused to be brute thugs, it's that simple.  Sorry they want to have class.  Apologies for wanting to put an attractive product on the field instead of a professional wrestling match.  That's where the EPL is heading if they continue to compromise, sport entertainment instead of sport.  What do they care though? As long as the mums and the dads buy their children that kit each year.

West Ham 3, Liverpool 1: The big top is burning

There is a weathered tale about a 19th century Siberian circus that while traveling through Eastern Europe is brutally attacked by the people of an isolated, starving mountain village.  The circus performers were so shocked by the merciless gore of the rampage upon them, they stood and did nothing while being torn to shreds.  Clowns were sadistically murdered, trapeze artists tortured and mangled, and all the animals, except the elephants, were killed and eaten raw.  The elephants apparently got away, but were never seen from again.  Though the town in Siberia where the circus originated made inquiries and notified the proper officials in Moscow about their missing family members and citizens, nothing was ever done.  It was brushed under the rug because, ultimately, nobody cares about a dead clown.

That's what Liverpool were today, a bunch of dead clowns.  Almost from the get-go it was apparent the ref was going to be lenient when it came to physical play.  How many times does Liverpool have to lose before they realize the match official is going to call a match a certain way and it's best to play that way instead of our own style.  This is how it works, there is no precedent for how a match is called no matter how much verbal feces the EPL aficionados defecate in our ears.  Now, had Liverpool started playing like West Ham, tackling viciously, studs up or not, being overtly physical, and then were called for it, then we have an issue, but LFC players didn't wrangle, they fell to the ground in the fetal position and let the Hammers have their way.  Sure, Kouyate should have been sent off for his barbaric tackle on Moreno, but he wasn't and that's my point.  Break Winston Reid's leg with a stud up sliding tackle and if the ref does anything about it, then we have an argument for fairness.  Ultimately the fault would have fallen on the ref and the EPL's inability to produce a consistent, legitimate product.

The biggest issue I have with the match is Craig Pawson referring to his ear-piece for the Balotelli-Adrian incident.  Why isn't this happening more often?  And why isn't it happening when it should actually matter?  The Moreno-Kouyote incident in particular.  Again, if the Premier League wants to avoid situations of complicity, shouldn't they do this every time to avoid controversy?  Maybe I'm not just the average ignorant, blinded, and drunk Premier League fan.

Now, with that said, Liverpool played atrocious defense.  Who in Hades' name was marking Reid on the first goal?  From the looks of the replay, nobody, so it is the fault of Skrtel, Lovren, and Manquillo, who were closest to him at the beginning of the free kick.  Communication guys, come on, this is getting old.  I honestly think Lovren and Skrtel dislike one another for whatever Eastern European rubbish reason, but regardless, you aren't playing for your countries, you're not on the battlefield, and you play for the same team who is paying you and counting on you to perform to the best of your abilities.  Suck up your pride and do what is best for the club.

The second goal allowed was more dumb luck than anything.  Lovren laid off Sakho because Moreno was there, should the Spaniard have played him tighter?  Probably, but it was just one of those perfectly placed goals where not much could have stopped it. It reminded me of the goal by Konchesky in the 2006 FA Cup final.  I doubt Mignolet could have been better positioned either, if he was further back, Sakho would have probably tried to slam in closer to the near post.  It was a great goal by Sakho, get over it.

Borini is rubbish, he doesn't know when to pass and when to shoot and that was quite evident.  When he had the breakaway in the 54th minute with Moreno and Lallana lurking, but took the impossible angle shot, that was ridiculous.  Then he took the optimistic shot outside of the box in the 64th minute when he should have held the ball and see what developed since no West Ham players were close enough to dispossess him.  Adrian pulled in his leg there, by the way, so any studs up calls on that one are rubbish.  Then, finally, when Sterling tries to do a give-and-go in the 74th minute, he should have went for goal.  His style of play just doesn't work for us, put him on the reserves squad and let him die a slow play less death.

For once, Balotelli played well, he even got back on defence a couple of times which impressed me, but he has to take advantage of every scoring chance and his weak effort in the 59th minute was unacceptable.  He puts that three yards higher and it's a goal.  He's a special player, but has yet to play so for us.

I was a bit baffled by the no-call on Lallana right outside of the box in the 61st minute.  Why didn't Pawson refer to his ear-piece then?  If the Premier League doesn't want to be accused of complicity than don't put others in the situation to do so.  That was a clear foul by Song from behind and though I don't think it was penalty worthy, it still should have been called back for a free kick despite play-on due to possession.  I personally love Noble's applauding the ref for his non-call at the end of the 'play'.

Ultimately, I think are defence was suspect and Sterling has to realize he is the new 'man'.  He has to step up and be the replacement for Sturridge,  Unfortunately, he is only 19 and that has to suck for him.  He is our best player and probably the most talented player at his age in the world.  One goal was not enough and hopefully he'll realize that most fans, especially myself, would rather see him take 5 bad shots than make a useless pass.

Liverpool to lose? Noble to score? Can Gerrard reach 10? What the markets say...

I was a bit worried when I saw the amount of bets placed on Liverpool to win, but upon further investigation I realized the line movement didn't justify my concern.  Still a 5/6 payoff isn't worth a go.

To win:
Liverpool	5/6	64.80%
West Ham	4/1	18.00%
Draw	16/5	17.20%

There are only six players total from both squads who have scored in this fixture.  Gerrard has scored 9 times in 21 matches versus the Hammers which equals the amount of all the other players combined.  The other five are Mark Noble (2), Glen Johnson (3), Carlton Cole (2), Guy Demel (1) and Mamadou Sakho (1).  Only two players have scored for both sides, Gerrard and Demel.  Noble at 25/1 as first goalscorer and 8/1 for anytime goalscorer is worth a small wager and if you're feeling particularly lucky, Guy Demel is 50/1 as first and 26/1 anytime.

First goalscorer:
Balotelli	5/1	46.00%
Sterling	15/2	14.00%
Valencia	17/2	12.00%
Noble	25/1	6.00%
Borini	15/2	4.00%
D. Sakho	9/1
Coutinho	8/1
Markovic	8/1
Gerrard	10/1
Cole	10/1
Lovren	25/1
Downing	25/1
Skrtel	25/1
Song	35/1
Moreno	35/1
Manquillo	40/1
G. Johnson	40/1
M. Sakho	40/1
Demel	50/1

Unlike last week, where Liverpool dominated the final score bets, the draw wagers are coming into play today.  The 'favorite' West Ham gambles are 2-1 and 1-0, both at 16/1.  If you think Liverpool will thump the Hammers at Upton, 4-0 is a hefty 28/1 pay back.

Correct score:
Liverpool	3-1	14/1	14.63%
Draw	0-0	14/1	12.20%
Liverpool	2-1	8/1	10.98%
Draw	1-1	15/2	9.76%
Draw	2-2	15/1	7.32%
Liverpool	1-0	9/1
West Ham	2-1	16/1
West Ham	1-0	16/1
Liverpool	4-0	28/1

As I mentioned above, Noble is a decent bet at anytime goalscorer.  The great English hope, 'Pretty Hair' Lallana, is getting a little love here as well with 3.23% of all wagers betting he'll net his first for the 'Pool.

Anytime scorer:
Balotelli	11/8	38.71%
Valencia	11/4	29.03%
Sterling	9/4	16.13%
Borini	9/4	3.23%
Lallana	31/10	3.23%
D. Sakho	10/3
Zarate	3/1
Cole	7/2
Henderson	5/1
Noble	8/1
Gerrard	10/3
G. Johnson	14/1
M. Sakho	14/1
Coutinho	7/2
Kouyoute	11/1
Demel	26/1

The last goalscorer bet is always an interesting one, you've got to think a late match striker sub would be the best wager, thus Lambert and Cole seem like decent shots.  The problem with Lambert is the return is only 5/1, while Cole is much better at 9/1.  Jordan Henderson at 16/1 seems possible as well.

Last goalscorer:
Lambert	5/1
Cole	9/1
Gerrard	10/1
Henderson	16/1

No one will likely score a hat-trick, but it's always fun for a small wager.

Score hat-trick:
Balotelli	28/1
Sterling	66/1
Gerrard	100/1

Man of the match betting has been interesting to say the least.  Moreno, for some reason, seems a popular pick and at 33/1, it's worth a meager go.  Song is also getting some action at 20/1, him winning would not surprise me either.  Sterling has been garnering the favorite for a few matches and that doesn't change here at 5/1.  Mark Noble is the dark horse and at 25/1, it's a nice reward for the risk.

Man of the match:
Moreno	33/1	38.10%
Song	20/1	19.05%
Sterling	5/1	14.29%
Valencia	12/1	14.29%
Lallana	12/1	4.76%
Balotelli	6/1
Gerrard	8/1
Noble	25/1

Other fun bets are an own goal scored (by either side) at 9/1 and the always volatile Balotelli to get a card 11/4.  Cheers and happy betting.

It's Sam Allardyce vs Brendan Rodgers and one has got the better talent

Liverpool is 9-3-6 at Upton Park in the Prem and have won 4 of the last 5, which is significant considering that prior to their current run, LFC were 20-17-20 all-time at the northwest London grounds.  Still at 24-17-21, they have not posted a winning record there, but have at least won more than they've lost. The last loss in February 2011 featured goals from Demba Ba, Scott Parker, and Glen Johnson, while the Hammers were then managed by Avram Grant.

In week 5 matches on the road in the Prem, Liverpool is 1-3-5.  Their only win was at Ewood in 2003, a match that featured a brace by Michael Owen and Lucas Neill breaking Jamie Carragher's leg.  Blackburn would later be managed by current West Ham manager Sam Allardyce and Neill would shun Liverpool in January 2007 for West Ham in a transfer fiasco, claiming 'footballing reasons' as an excuse.

West Ham are a ridiculously mediocre 6-1-6 at home in week 5 since the conception of the Prem, though that includes a 1-0 win in the Championship against Burnley in 2004-05.  In 2009-10 they lost to Liverpool, 3-2, their only week 5 meeting at home versus the Merseyside club, which also featured a brace from Fernando Torres.  They also played LFC at Anfield in week 5 of the 1994-95 season, which ended in a 0-0 draw despite Tony Coffee being sent off 9 minutes into the second half.

Now to the absolutely absurd, the previous season 2nd place club is 13-4-5 at the previous season 13th place finisher during week 5.  Liverpool is 1-0-1 with a loss at Fulham in 2002-03 and a win at Bolton in 2009-10, both results were 3-2.  West Ham has only featured in this match once, a 1994-95 2-0 win at home versus Blackburn.

I posted more about this match-up already.  Feel free to draw your own conclusion.

Liverpool 2, PFC Ludogorets Razgrad 1: The same old rubbish

Like clockwork, the problems plaguing our side once again reared their ugly heads.  We couldn't score despite plenty of intrusions into our opponent's third and got caught out of position at the back.  We were lucky not to lose and the only way to justify a win is to say we deserved it, but even that is laying it on a bit thick.  Sure, we dominated the match, played a reckless style that was enjoyable to watch, but should have scored loads of goals and not allowed any by a clearly inferior side.

Sterling has to take his shots, forget about trying to help Balotelli break the duck or trying to share the wealth with his captain, he has to shoot it.  Has he lost his confidence? If so, his play on the ball doesn't show it, he should just thump away without a concious like Suarez did last year.  I'd rather he take it on a decent look than lay off and let the defence collapse around whomever receives it.  It became infectious as even Gerrard passed on a decent look at the top of the box where he has, in the very least, challenged the keeper many times throughout his career.

Beyond that, after the first goal, eighty-two minutes into the match and seen coming from a mile away, Rodgers should have pulled everyone back instead of allowing his players to be greedy.  I know it's not his style, but it should have been 4-0 at that point, take what you can get and park the bus.  Our defence become porous and Ludogorets produced counter after counter with ease. Once Sakho and Lovren got 'adventurous' the probable became inevitable.  Also, Mignolet didn't help with his decision to come out of net so early.  Then, of course, we are saved by a dubious penalty, which probably did more bad than good.  No matter what, we must learn to score without Sturridge, whom along with Gerrard, saved us many a time last season.

As for individual performances, Lallana is now 0-2 on chances to impress. Big surprise, I thought he was going to show me I was wrong about him being a wasted £26m? Yeah, not gonna happen, if he pulls his club out of this scoring rut, I may lay off of him, but he won't. We'll be laughing about him being the second worst acquisition in LFC history soon enough.  I also thought Southampton was going to be relegated? Again, ridiculous.

Balotelli was probably the man of the match, but Moreno needs special mention for his assist, five chances created, 37/41 passing (90.2%), and 3 tackles for good measure.  Also, Manquillo was a beast on defence, leading the side with 8 tackles, 3 interceptions, and 3 clearances.  In the end, it's a much needed three points for our Champions League cause.  Next we have West Ham at Upton, which means Sam Allardyce trying to measure up against Rodgers and Liverpool's superior talent.  I will be shocked if Big Sam takes a stifling defensive approach, but if he does, it won't be the first time he's surprised me.  Hopefully we'll find an answer to our scoring issues early on and then pour it on.

Senderos leads in on-field assaults: EPL week 4 top performers

Aaron Ramsey  - 1 assist, 3 chances created, 60/68 passing (88.2%), 1 shot on-target, 4 tackles, 3 interceptions

Jack Wilshere - 1 goal, 1 assist, 2 chances created, 52/65 passing (80%), 1 shot on-target, 10 successful dribbles, 2 tackles, 1 clearance, 1 blocked shot

Cesc Fabregas - 2 assists, 6 chances created, 78/83 passing (94%),  2 successful dribbles, 1 interception, 4/5 crosses, 2/3 long balls

Branislav Ivanovic - 6 chances created, 4/4 aerial duels, 2 successful dribbles, 2 tackles, 1 clearance

Diego Costa - 3 goals, 4 shots on-target, 3 chances created, 24/28 passing (85.7%), 2 successful dribbles, 1 tackle

Eden Hazard - 9 successful dribbles, 4 key passes, 4 chances created, 63/68 passing (92.6%), 2 shots on-target, 2 interceptions

Andrew Robertson - 2 chances created, 1 successful dribble, 7 tackles, 5 interceptions, 4 clearances, 2 blocked shots

Mohamed Diame - 7 tackles, 1 goal, 1 shot on-target, 17/18 passing (94.4%), 2 interceptions, 1 blocked shot

Michael Dawson - 11 clearances, 6 interceptions, 5 blocked shots,  4/7 aerial duels, 1 tackle

Curtis Davies - 16 clearances, 6/6 aerial duels, 4 interceptions, 2 blocked shots, 1 tackle

Jason Puncheon - 4 chances created, 3 successful dribbles, 1 shot on-target, 2 tackles, 1 interceptions, 1 clearance

Ritchie de Laet - 2 chances created, 5/7 aerial duels, 4 tackles, 3 interceptions, 12 clearances, 2 blocked shots

Dejan Lovren - 100/118 passing (84.7%), 11/16 long balls, 7/8 aerial duels, 8 clearances, 3 tackles, 2 interceptions

David Silva - 6 chances created, 4 successful dribbles, 1 shot on-target, 2 tackles, 1 interception

Gael Clichy - 2 chances created, 2 successful dribbles,  7 tackles, 3 interceptions, 3 clearances

Ander Herrera - 1 goal, 1 assist, 4 chances created, 2 successful dribbles, 8 tackles, 1 interception, 1 blocked shot, 77/85 passing (90.6%)

Angel Di Maria - 1 goal, 1 assist, 4 chances created, 2 successful dribble, 1 tackle

Morgan Schneiderlin - 1 goal, 62/69 passing (89.9%), 1 successful dribble, 7 tackles, 2 interceptions, 1 clearance

Victor Moses - 24/24 passing (100%), 4 key passes, 10 successful crosses, 4 successful dribbles, 4 tackles, 1 interception

Christian Eriksen - 1 goal, 3 chances created, 78/87 passing (89.7%), 3 successful dribbles, 2 tackles, 1 interception, 1 clearance

Stewart Downing - 7 chances created, 58/60 passing (96.7%), 1 shot on-target, 1 clearance

All tomorrow's winners: Man United, Man City, Chelsea, Newcastle, Swansea, & West Ham

Predictions for tomorrow:
Burnley vs Man United
Betting on Burnley is a sucker bet as United's attack is far better than portrayed and Burnley has the worst defence in the league.  This one could get ugly and expect Van Persie to open his account for the season. Burnley 1, Man United 3

Man City vs Stoke
Begovic & company are good enough on defence to hold this to late, but I don't think they will.  City will probably get a goal around the middle of the first half and then add another late.  The Potters just don't have the ability to break down the City defense at the Etihad without a major mistake from their hosts. Look for Dzeko to get his first goal of the season. Man City 2, Stoke 0

Newcastle vs Crystal Palace
Three points will not get any easier for the Magpies.  They boast a decent attack and a respectable defence plus playing at home against Palace, who are dreadful on attack, should give them a significant edge.  If Dwight Gayle plays a significant amount, Palace will get at least a goal from him, but not sure it's worth the risk.  Newcastle 3, Crystal Palace 1

QPR vs Sunderland
Joey Barton and Rio Ferdinand have played exceptionally for their less than exceptional side, but if Remy is not available, this match has draw written all over it.  Sunderland is superior both on attack and in defence, but the confidings of Loftus Road will give QPR a proper boost. QPR 2, Sunderland 2

Swansea vs West Brom
This match could end up being the most exciting of the day.  Swansea is just poor enough on defence to allow a mediocre WBA attack to keep it exciting, but ultimately the superior Swan attack should prevail.  Wilfried Bony is itching for a goal. Swansea 3, WBA 2

West Ham vs Southampton
Another candidate for match of the day, Southampton should have enough to make it interesting against a somewhat decent West Ham defence.  In the end though, the Hammers strength of Allardyce's 'air ball' are the Saints' weakness.  West Ham 2, Southampton 0

Everton vs Chelsea
Despite being at Goodison, I don't think the Toffees will be able to compete with Chelsea, but if they try, the London club could humiliate them.  This is just a bad match-up for the blue side of Merseyside, Chelsea play a similar yet superior style of attack and are far better on defence.  I'll go conservative here though and say Everton 0, Chelsea 2.

Fantasy picks for match day 3: Newcastle, Villa, Swansea, West Ham & City are the way to go

Keepers
This week: Tim Krul (Newcastle)

Alternates: Brad Guzan (Villa), Fabianski (Swansea), Hart (Man City), De Gea (Man U), Robert Green (QPR).

Long term: De Gea, Krul, Forster (Southampton), Mannone (Sunderland)

Defenders
This week: Alan Hutton (Aston Villa), Dummett (Newcastle), Kompany (Man City), Armat (Swansea)

Alternates: Vlaar (Villa), Coloccini, Williamson (Newcastle), Williams, Rangel (Swansea), Ferdinand (QPR)

Long term: Dummett, Coloccini (Newcastle), Fonte (Southampton), O'Shea (Sunderland), Blackett, Jones (Man U)

Midfielders
This week: Barton (QPR), Nasri (Man City), Sigurdsson (Swansea), Cabella (Newcastle)

Alternates: Delph, Westwood (Villa), Colback, Sissoko (Newcastle), Ki Sung-yeung (Swansea), Silva, Toure (Man City), Noble, Kouyate (West Ham)

Long term: Valencia (Man U), Larsson (Sunderland), Colback, Cabella, Sissoko (Newcastle), Schniederlin (Southampton), Gerrard, Sterling (Liverpool)

Forwards
This week: Bony (Swansea), Riviere (Newcastle)

Alternates: Dzeko, Jovetic, Aguero (Man City), Cole (Newcastle), Rooney, Van Persie (Man U)

Long term: Pelle, Long (Southampton), Wickham, Fletcher (Sunderland), Sturridge (Liverpool), Riviere, De Jong, Gouffran (Newcastle)

Pay close attention to transfer news as some may not be with their club come match time.

It's Andy Carroll all over again!

Adam Lallana will miss the start of the season due to injury suffered in training today.  The thing I'm most disappointed about is having to wait to prove how bad of a buy he was, £25m for a player probably not worth 10.  He doesn't even have to hit the pitch before any support for his purchase can be dismantled.

Reason 1: 'He creates goals.'

True, but not as much as teammates Steven Davis, James Ward-Prowse, nor Gaston Ramirez.  Ward-Prowse at £25m is somewhat justifiable given his age and potential.  He'll probably be better than Lallana in three years, when he turns 22.  Lallana is 26, if you were wondering.

Reason 2: 'He's a great passer.'

No, actually he's not.  He posted an 84.7% passing rate last year and an 80.7% passer rating the year before, respectable, yes, but not when you consider his pass back percentage to be 50.3% and 52.4% respectively.  He's great at passing backward, that's about it.

Reason 3: 'He's English.'

Oh yes, of course, he is made of that special pedigree that once 'ruled the world'.  Lallana is such an 'English' last name, isn't it?  And let's get something straight, he's 'White English', because a player of any different skin color and posts the same numbers, regardless of his country of origin, is dreadfully mediocre.

Reason 4: 'He's a model.'

Where do I begin here? A model what, exactly? Just another check against the underlying racism of top-flight football and the market-driven money that runs it. Yes, he's a looker, quite possibly his best tribute, though not Justin Timberlake hawt, which I personally fancy.

Lallana is nothing special and he'll disappear under waves of mediocrity once he starts to see the pitch in a Liverpool kit, but not before he plays second fiddle to Beckham and trumps up his modeling career, of course.

This reminds of me of another situation, let me see... White, overpaid, Englishman... oh, yes, Andy Carroll! How could I forget quite possibly the worst bit of business in Liverpool history.  Dalglish has Suarez to thank for saving his arse though, had he not bought the Uruguayan, King Kenny might have been looked upon with more senile light.  Oh there I go again, mentioning that name... he's not supposed to participate in footballing activities which apparently includes everything on the internet involving a ball and feet.

Liverpool 0, West Ham 1: All you can do is laugh

Apparently handballs in the box aren't penalties and dives where the player (Lundjberg, in this case) had zero chance at a goal are. I'm so tired of the farce that is the Premier League, let's just hope we don't get screwed in the Champions League again. We are playing an Italian team though. Ha ha ah.